Coming Home

21 Nov

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was gone for four days last weekend in Atlanta visiting a friend from grad school.  I had a wonderful, relaxing time while I was gone.  This was the first time ever that I was away from Jenna for that long.  As I pulled away from our house in the dark early morning hours, I almost lost it.  I felt the tears well up, and knew I was on the verge of bawling.  For a fraction of a second, I even entertained the thought of calling my trip off.  Instead, I gave myself a mental face-slap and switched my focus to something else.  I turned up the radio and started singing.  Mile by mile, the sadness eased and I felt myself relaxing.

I missed her (and Hubby) of course, but, sitting in the airport on the way out I had a moment of realization.  My head was quiet.  COMPLETELY quiet.  For once it wasn’t buzzing with thoughts about keeping Jenna occupied, quiet, or safe.  I wasn’t second-guessing and mulling over parenting and discipline choices I had made earlier in the day.  The planner in my head that is constantly scheduling the next thing I need to do and readjusting as life throws a wrench or two in was oddly (and wonderfully) silent.  I sat and sipped a coffee and nibbled a scone as I reveled in the peace.  I savored the peace most.

{A brief moment of Zen-like deep thoughts}

At the time, I just enjoyed it.  I fully embraced the moment and the chance to “just be.”  Now that I’m home, I’ve thought about it a little more, and I realized that, so very often in life, if we want to find that elusive peace, we have to take a painful step first.  A step out of a familiar comfort zone.  A step away from what we know.  Sometimes, a step that will encounter criticism or a step that others won’t understand.  I’ve taken several of those steps in life and they’re always painful, difficult, and full of fear and worry.  The peace at the end is always worth it.  Before, I’ve always equated it with major, life changing sorts of steps.  Now, I’m looking for little steps in my everyday life that lead to peace.  It’s harder than it sounds.  I think I need a guru….

{and a return to your regular post content…}

I also know that part of what made that glorious peace possible is that my wonderful hubby was at home caring for Jenna.  Even though there were some worries about that very thing before I left, the trust and confidence I have in him ultimately kicked in, and I was able to relax.  He is SO good and patient with her!

dsc_0011_23Cloud watching through skylight

He was supposed to get two breaks from a babysitter who ended up being sick.  Breaks equaled zero.  In spite of that, they had a great time together, he still got a little work done from home, and I had a fantastic time away.  More about that wonderful hubby??  When my last flight landed at 10:30 p.m., I still had over an hour of driving home to look forward to.  It was snowing, so I knew I’d have to scrape my car.  I was tired and NOT looking forward to driving alone.

Guess what?  Hubby had arranged for a friend to take my car home, while he and Jenna picked me up!  Jenna was still awake and they had roses and my favorite hot coffee waiting for me!  We had time to catch up and be silly all the way home, and I walked in the door to find more roses waiting for me, along with a spotlessly clean house, dishes done, laundry done and love notes from Jenna.  After we got her down for bed, I discovered clean sheets on our bed that was beautifully made, and a rose waiting on my pillow.  I love that man SO much!

Time away: Necessary.  Wonderful.  Rejuvenating.

Coming home: PRICELESS.


Posted by on November 21, 2008 in Jenna, Random Fun, Stream of consciousness, Travel


12 responses to “Coming Home

  1. Renée aka Mekhismom

    November 21, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Oh how thoughtful. I am glad that your time away gave you a moment to enjoy being you. And your husband is the best. Roses and a clean home? Do you lend him out? LOL

  2. Alpaca Farmgirl

    November 21, 2008 at 11:51 am

    I know that feeling so well. You want, no NEED peace but it’s so hard to leave them! Sounds like you have a great guy and daughter.

    My DH doesn’t usually get roses but he does keep the house cleaner than I do so it’s cleaner when I get back than when I left. That works.

    BTW, I’m a former psychologist. Following you on twitter. Reminds me of before I had alpacas, and when I only had one papoose…

  3. Heather~Domestic Extraordinaire

    November 21, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    The photo of your hubby and Jenna=priceless!!

    How wonderful that you got time away and that hubby made the return trip extra special.

  4. Kirsten/Mama Ginger Tree

    November 21, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Wow. I’m going to have my husband read this. 🙂

  5. Heather of the EO

    November 21, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    WOW. What a guy!!! He obviously appreciates you so much. And you him. The way you two treat each other is inspiring 🙂

  6. Maura

    November 21, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    So nice. The picture of the two of them is great. I’m glad you got to really enjoy your time away — it’s good to give yourself that kind of break every once in a while.

  7. AMomTwoBoys

    November 21, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    Awww….he should teach seminars. I’d totally sign DJ up for one.

  8. Susie Q

    November 21, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    Wow. This totally trumps pie making.

  9. anymommy

    November 22, 2008 at 1:05 am

    Um, yeah, you had me at the beginning, nodding and totally relating to needing that peace and time away, but having that moment of goodbye be so very hard. But, i cried at the end. Roses? Coffee? Your baby to say hello. You are a truly lucky girl.

  10. Braja

    November 23, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    You hit the nail on the head; what made it possible for you to enter that ‘space’ was the balance that you knew was there in all other aspects of your life; a holiday isn’t a holiday if you know you’re going back to ten times the workload that piled up while you were away, right? And yeah, maybe you need a guru 🙂 I got one, and it worked…
    Nice post…really nice.

  11. jen

    November 24, 2008 at 12:43 am

    a clean house, roses and airport pick-ups? wow.
    he’s a keeper.
    and those piggy-tails…seriously cute.

  12. iMommy

    November 24, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    oh, that sounds heavenly. Mind if I forward this hint – I mean, post – to my hubby?


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