Saturday Memories

10 Oct

This one is more sad than cute.  At about five weeks, Jenna rapidly declined in the NICU.  We left at around 5:30 for dinner thinking she was “stable” and were called back at around 6:30 by a nurse practitioner saying that Jenna needed an emergency blood transfusion and required CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) immediately to help with her breathing and oxygen levels.  Basically, the tubes that went into her nose forced air and oxygen into her lungs to decrease the work required for her to breath.  It made her eyes and face swell up horribly and she was terrified.  Watching her be hooked up to CPAP was one of my worst moments in the NICU with her.  Her eyes were huge with terror and she screamed and screamed.   She looked right at me as if to ask why I wasn’t helping her, and it broke my heart.  If you follow the Wikipedia link above for CPAP, you’ll read that it’s not uncommon for patients to not follow through with the treatment because it creates extreme anxiety and the terrifying feeling that you can’t breath.  It makes me sad for her even today.

I’ll leave you with a couple happier pictures of her in the NICU in posed pictures with her animal buddies.

“Hippo” is still a buddy today!

NOT thrilled with all the fuss.  But she LOVED “Freddie the Firefly.”


Posted by on October 10, 2008 in Jenna, Special Needs


3 responses to “Saturday Memories

  1. anymommy

    October 10, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    Oh, these are my favorite posts, but that made me tear up for her precious tiny self. It’s so wonderful to see those healthy pictures and to know how gorgeous and healthy she is today.

  2. iMommy

    October 10, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    You’re right, that photo is sad.. . I’m so glad that she’s doing better now!

    My husband has to use a CPAP machine every night to combat severe sleep apnea. It’s not fun, I can tell you that — it took him nearly 6 months to get used to wearing it (and for me to get used to seeing it every night)

  3. psychmamma

    October 10, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    AnyMommy – It’s easier for me to look at those pictures knowing that she’s as healthy and strong as she is today too. Still brings back some sad, scary memories though. That feeling of helplessness was the worst.

    iMommy –

    I can NOT imagine trying to sleep with one of those contraptions on my head/face. I have no doubt that it’s torture. It’s also probably no picnic to be sleeping next to a person wearing it……. Hope you hubby is doing better now.


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